Argentine Spanish is sometimes hard to understand. Navigating a huge city with a complicated metro system is no joke. It sure is difficult to restrain myself from consuming absurd amounts of delicious pastries from every corner bakery. I still struggle to stay away from the clubs that don’t open until 2 a.m.
But the most challenging part of studying abroad has come from the good ol’ U.S.A. — my study abroad peers.
The eight of us barely knew each other before moving to Argentina in January. We’re all journalism students, but come from different backgrounds and corners of the country. Some students are paying for the program out of their own pockets while others have their parents’ credit card. Some grew up in a big city and feel at home pounding the pavement while others miss the open fields they’re used to.
We spend a lot of time together: in class, at internships, and spending the evenings at the bars. The first few months we spent almost all of our time together — we didn’t know anybody else. Our mix of origins and personalities always teaches me something new, but it also causes conflict. We don’t always argue, but when we do it can be about anything: where we should eat dinner, who owes money to whom, whether Greek life is good or bad, the 2016 presidential election, etc.
Indeed, the eight of us have made memories of a lifetime together. We’ve backpacked the Patagonian Andes, celebrated Carnival on the beach, and made a foreign country our home. Although it hasn’t always been easy — some of our times together have been scarred by bickering — learning about my peers on this trip has taught me so much about the variety of viewpoints in the world and my own interpersonal skills.
Here are some of the lessons I learned about getting along with others on your study abroad trip:
1. LEAVE EXPECTATIONS AT THE DOOR
It’s so tempting to assume the kid wearing the Greek letters will like to party or that the student in the Nike gear will get up and run at 6 a.m. every morning. Just like in the rest of life, try to keep yourself from picking out who you think you will like and dislike before getting to know everyone. This can keep you from forming potentially wonderful relationships and going on crazy adventures.
2. DON’T TRY TO CHANGE ANYBODY
You can’t force someone to try your host country’s scary-looking traditional snack or to value weekend trips outside of your city. Everyone will have their own experience abroad and your way is not better or worse than anybody else’s. You can’t force someone to be interested in going to the esteemed art museum down the street — everyone has their own interests and their right to pursue them as they please.
3. RESPECT EVERYONE’S BUDGETS
Remember that not everyone can afford to treat themselves to that $20 dinner or $8 cocktail. While some of your friends may have financial support from their parents, others will be spending the money they earned from their on-campus jobs. Being abroad and unable to work can be particularly difficult for students who support themselves financially. When somebody says they can’t go to that fancy restaurant or on your next weekend trip, respect their decision and ability to make their own financial decisions based on their resources.
4. DON’T TRY TO DO EVERYTHING IN A HUGE GROUP
It’s okay if two people want to go to the zoo while the rest want to go to the used book fair. Although it may be tempting to try to stick together as much as possible for safety and inclusion, sometimes people simply want to do different things. It is OK for the group to split into smaller units so that more people get to do what they want. You are also allowed to leave the group and do activities by yourself — you’re not obligated to do what everyone else is.
5. IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY
My final tip is to remember that studying abroad is not easy and some of the students on your trip will struggle and be unhappy. Even the most fantastic activities and places will not be enthralling to some. While, of course, you should check on them and ask if they need to talk, it is not your responsibility to make sure they have fun while abroad. At the end of the day they are in charge of their own experience and there’s only so much you can do.