The Spanish themselves have coined the motto, “Spain is different”, and for good reason! Below are just some of the things you’ll notice about Spanish life that you will eventually take home with you. Regardless of whether just a few of them, or all of them, will apply to you, you will definitely return home a “different” person.
¡Prepárate!
1) You’ll think that adding lemonade, Fanta or even Coke to red wine is a good idea.
2) You won’t be able to get over how early bars & clubs shut back home – surely they’re shutting just as you should be going out!
3) You won’t be just surprised that the plumber/decorator has turned up on time, you’ll be surprised he turned up at all.
5) You think it’s fine to comment on everyone’s appearance. And to openly stare at strangers.
6) NOT giving every new acquaintance dos besos (a kiss on each cheek) seems so rude.
7) You’re shocked by people getting their legs out at the first hint of sun – surely they should wait until at least late June?
8) On msn you sometimes type ‘jajaja’ instead of ‘hahaha’
9) You think that aceite de oliva is a vital part of every meal. And don’t understand how anyone could think olive oil on toast is weird.
10) You’re amazed when TV ad breaks last less than half an hour, especially right before the end of films.
11) You forget to say please when asking for things – you implied it in your tone of voice, right?
12) You love the phenomenon of giving ‘toques’ – but hate explaining it in English
14) You don’t see sunflower seeds as a healthy snack – they’re just what all the cool kids eat.
15) You know what a pijo is and how to spot one.
16) Every sentence you speak contains at least one of these words: ‘bueno,’ ‘coño,’ ‘vale,’ ‘venga,’ ‘pues nada’…
17) You know what a ‘resaca’ is.
18) A bull’s head on the wall of a bar isn’t a talking point for you, it’s just a part of the decor.
19) You eat lunch after 2pm & would never even think of having your evening meal before 9.
20) You know that after 2pm there’s no point in going shopping, you might as well just have a siesta until 5 when the shops re-open.
21) You can’t get proper café con leche anywhere else.
22) If anyone insults your mother, they better watch out…
23) You’re familiar with the term ‘la crisis.’ And have started shopping at Dia as a result (and of course, you take your own carrier bag).
24) It’s not rude to answer the intercom to your flat by asking ‘Quien?’
26) You know Bimbo isn’t a slutty woman, it’s a make of ‘pan de molde’ (which, incidentally, isn’t moldy)
27) The sound of mopeds in the background is the soundtrack to your life.
28) You know that the mullet didn’t just happen in the 80s. It is alive and well in Spain.
29) You know the difference between cojones and cajones, tener calor and estar caliente, bacalao and bakalao, pollo and polla, estar hecho polvo and echar un polvo…and maybe you learned the differences the hard way!
30) On some Sunday mornings you sometimes have breakfast before going to bed, not after you get up.
31) You don’t see anything wrong with having a couple of beers before lunch if you feel like it.
32) Floors in certain bars are an ideal dumping ground for your colillas, servilletas etc. Why use a bin?!
33) You see clapping as an art form, not just a way to express approval.
34) You know ensaladilla rusa has nothing to do with Russia.
35) You’ve been to your local town’s feria/fiesta/semana santa
36) You have friends named Jesus, Jose Maria, Maria Jose, Angel, maybe even Inmaculada Concepcion…
37) You know that ‘ahora’ doesn’t really mean now. Hasta ahora, ahora vuelvo…etc
38)When you make arrangements to meet friends at 3, the first person turns up at 3.15…if you’re lucky!
39) Central heating is most definitely a foreign concept. In winter, you just huddle around the heater under the table & pull the blanket up over your knees…and sleep with about 5 blankets on your bed! (OK I accepot this is probably just in the south!)
41) Aceite de oliva is ‘muy sano’, of course. So you help yourself to a bit more.
42) Every single news bulletin on TV has at least 10 minutes on Real Madrid news and another 10 on Barcelona news.
43) When it’s totally normal for every kitchen to have a deep-fat fryer but no kettle.
44) Te cagas en la leche….
45) To avoid that cheap Eristoff vodka you have to ask for ‘un esmirnoff’
46) When you know what a guiri is / have been called one
47) When you add ‘super’ in front of any adjective for emphasis
48) Blonde girls actually start to think their name is ‘rubia’, OR in my case ´rubio´.
49) When you accept that paying with a 50 euro note is going to get you a dirty look if you’re buying something that costs less than 40 euros
50) If something is great, it’s ‘de puta madre’
51) You can eat up to 5 times a day – first breakfast, 2nd breakfast around 11.30, almuerzo, merienda, cena
52) ‘Son las nueve, las ocho en Canarias’ is how you are used to hearing radio DJs announce the time
53) If you see someone wearing a T-shirt with something written on it in English, you can almost guarantee it won’t make sense.
54) When you go into a bank/bakery etc, it’s standard practice to ask ‘¿Quien es la ultima?’ (“Who´s last in line?”)
55) Who needs a dryer when you have a washing line outside the window of your apartment?
56) Drinking coffee out of a glass is entirely normal.
57) You are more likely to call your friends tio/a, nena, chaval, macho or even tronco than their real name.
58) Love it or hate it, you can’t escape reggaeton.
61) Jamon, jamon y mas jamon….
62) If you eat a lot of something, you’re not going to ‘turn into’ it, you’re going to ‘get the face of it,’ e.g ‘te vas a poner cara de chocolate.’ Somehow a lot more amusing!
63) Just expect to be treated like mierda in any customer service situacion. If it´s a server OR an employee in any store, they hate you.
But in the end… with all the good and the bad, you’re going to be left with only all the love in the world for the country and all the time you spent there…
[accordion_tab title=”Editor in Chief: Paul Joseph Downey”]
Paul Joseph Downey is a graduate from The Ohio State University with bachelor degrees in Spanish and International Studies, and Florida International University with a Master of Science in International Education. Born in Columbus, Ohio, and currently residing in Miami, Florida, he also considers Madrid, Paris, and Buenos Aires all very dear to his heart.
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